Blue Teams Finish Last

            “Okay guys, we’ve got our team name, we’ve got our logo, now we just need to pick our team colours. Dave?”

            “I like red. It’s the colour of blood and war. It’ll inspire our team to battle for glory!”

            “Interesting. Jim?”

“Black, so we can strike fear into the hearts of corruption and injustice…and our opponents.”

“Cool. I especially like the raspy voice. Greg?”

“We should go with yellow. It’ll be cheaper to give away free t-shirts on fan appreciation nights.”

“That’s my favourite so far. Alright, let’s discuss our options until we come to a consensus.”

(5 hours later)

“(Sigh) Okay guys, for the sake of unity, let’s just go with blue. Would everyone be satisfied with blue?”

“Sure. Okay. Fine.”

Ahh...the sweet hue of compromise.

It’s no surprise that at any given time, roughly a third of the teams in the NHL wear blue as their primary colour. Blue, after all, is the favourite colour of more than half of US adults. What is a surprise however, is how rare it is to see any of those teams hoist a Cup. Here’s a collage of the last 18 Stanley Cup Champions going back to 1995.

Aside from the trim in the Colorado and Tampa Bay uniforms, that picture is devoid of the colour blue (unless you count the Canucks jerseys behind Zdeno Chara's massive grinning head). So what the heck is going on?

            But before we get to that, WAIT, it gets even weirder! Even if you look at the losing team in the Stanley Cup Finals, there are only three teams going back to 1984:

The 2011 Vancouver Canucks, The 2006 Edmonton Oilers, and the 1998 Washington Capitals are the only blue teams to appear in the Stanley Cup Finals since 1994.

             Theoretically, with one third of the teams wearing primarily blue, we should expect to see a blue-jerseyed Stanley Cup Champion every three years. But in reality, you’re worse-off wearing blue than you are being from Canada. No wonder teams like Toronto and Vancouver are so championship-starved. The Canucks have only been to the Finals three times, and only once wearing blue. The ever-blue Leafs haven’t even seen the Finals since 1967.

            Quick, name some teams that seem to be perpetually above-average or better. Are they also perpetually red?

Pictured: Winners

Okay, the Chicago Blackhawks only recently became good after many seasons of being awful, but I needed a fourth team to symmetrize the image.

Time for some NHL trivia. Which team has the longest current Stanley Cup drought?

Hint: Formerly known as the Toronto Blueshirts

Which team has the longest all-time Stanley Cup drought?

Hint: Colloquially known as the Broadway Blueshirts 

Which is the oldest team to have never won a Stanley Cup?

Hint: They have the word "Blue" right in their name!

Which two teams are tied for the second-oldest?

Da-ba-dee-da-ba-daa.

Which was the last team to make their first post-season appearance?

Hint: They're still waiting for that first post-season win.

The San Jose Sharks are a team that’s never terrible, but can never seem to go all the way. Maybe it’s because they’re always kind-of blue, kind-of not. The Penguins dabbled into baby-blue territory, but then Crosby got hurt so they presumably decided not to tempt the Hockey Gods further and returned to black. The Florida Panthers and Nashville Predators both went blue for a couple of seasons recently, but then decided that they didn't need to inhibit themselves further.

On second thought, I like our odds better with mustard yellow.

            Is there any rhyme or reason to the overarching inferiority of blue teams, or is red just a lucky colour? According to an article by Ben Leach of The Telegraph, a study by sports psychologists at the University of Munster revealed that in contact sports, teams wearing red are victorious 5-10% more frequently. Norbert Hagemann, the leader of the study, commented, "If one competitor is strong and the other weak, it won't change the outcome of the fight. But the closer the levels, the easier it is for the colour to tip the scales".

            Why is red linked to success? It could be that the colour red is a stimulant that imbalances the opposing teams mentality. Blue, on the other hand, is a relaxant (which is it’s a popular “favourite” colour). Or perhaps being surrounded by red jerseys pregame energizes the team wearing that colour.

            Since 1995, the average blue-coloured team has a 1.6% chance of making it to the finals compared to a 5% chance for the average red-coloured team, and a 4% chance for the average black-coloured team.

            Now maybe you’re thinking that I, as a Canucks fan, am trying to make excuses for my team’s lack of success.

1)      Shut up.

2)      My argument goes for all blue teams.

Or maybe you’re thinking that I’m cherry-picking examples to support a weak argument. How do I explain the success of the 1980s New York Islanders and Edmonton Oilers?

Notice that the Munster study concluded that a blue uniform won’t inhibit a clearly stronger competitor. And the New York Islanders and Edmonton Oilers were hardly flukes in the 80s; they were dynasties loaded with superstars. They could’ve worn pink leotards and blown away the competition.

So if you want to see team success, forget about all the subtle roster changes and coaching. Just ditch the stupid blue uniforms. I don’t know why 90% of teams choose either blue, red, or black. The Anaheim Ducks looked fine in eggplant and jade until they switched to black and…won a Stanley Cup the following season…okay, bad example.

Even Teemu looks dorky in those colours.

Remember those horrible Canucks jerseys from the 80s that everyone likes to make fun of?

 

Harold Snepsts and Darcy Rota accept the award for Most Overachieving Team Ever

Say what you will – they were designed by a sports psychologist for the purpose of intimidation, and what happened? They somehow made it to the Finals with a team of nobodies. I rest my case, thank you very much.

Now excuse me as I watch youtube videos until the image of Mark Messier in a pink leotard vacates my mind.

You're welcome.